September 4th, 2004
The day you died.
Hi Gram Gram,
I’m writing this just because I miss you more than usual today. I think about you everyday. All I want to do is make you proud and I hope that you’re watching down on me and smiling. You taught some really important things and ill never forget you, ever. I never got to say goodbye to you, and that’s hurts a lot gram. It really does. Everyone shielded me from what was going on when you were in the hospital because they thought I was too young. I didn’t know that was going to be the last time you called me baby doll. Or the last time you said “you have the most beautiful green eyes, I hope one day you fall in love with someone who appreciates them as much as I do.”
I was too young to even know what being gay was. I don’t even know what your feelings are towards gay people, but I am gay. I hope that doesn’t bother you. I’m down here trying to make you as proud as possible okay? You’re the reason I’m such a hopeless romantic. You always told me “one day you’ll love someone in a different way than you love your family. In a way that you’ll never love anyone else. Make sure you cherish that person, baby doll.”
I will gram gram, I promise I will.
You were so strong. After losing your leg you still continued to function normally. You never wanted anyone’s help or pity. You’re so amazing and I hope you look down on me and smile.
My hero says “This time I’ll make you proud to see me over. Proud of who you raised. Your shelter, your peacefulness. So this time I’ll make you proud. Proud of who you raised up. You know that I will always be here till the end. Come back, so I can say thank you for this.”
Come back Gram Gram. I wish more than anything to get to say goodbye to you. Please know I love you, and I’ll never forget you. I hope it’s nice up there. And I know how much you hate goodbyes so I won’t say it.
I’ll see you later gram.